Beerhouse to rebrand as TEAHOUSE

April Fools 2014!

Thank you for all the hilarious feedback! The Beerhouse is looking forward to many more years and April Fools!

Original posting follows: Due to a lack of interest in beer the owner of Beerhouse has decided that it is not beer that people are craving but tea.

“Tea is the new beer” exclaims an excitable Randolf Jorberg. “There was not enough interest in beer and customers were always asking us to open a tea house”, Jorberg continues with unabated excitement. So it looks like the creators of Beer House will be shunning the dead end trend in beer and will look to create a list of 99 tea varieties both exotic and indigenous at the all-new TEAHOUSE.


It seems they have timed this re-branding just in time for winter. As the storms roll in and the grey clouds descend – sit back and have a Cuppa.

Perhaps the biggest challenge to this rebranding is the complicated process of converting the giant cold room which use to hold the #99 beers into a giant kettle to keep that cuppa hot. Craig Van Der Bank, builder at Projectmen, is optimistic that the procedure is relatively painless. “The fridge unit is insulated already so it would just be a case of lining it with metal, installing a giant filament and bobs your uncle – a giant Kettle” The Tea house will dispense tea from its giant kettle through its beer taps and replace its glassware with chintz mix and match cups and saucers

ChintzMurray, formally the Beer Whisperer and now the Tea Bellower is excited about putting together a list of #99teas. “I am particularly excited about our home made blends of tea, it will allow us to customize tea blends to our tea lovers needs and requirements”.  “We have also got hold of some rare and unusually teas”. They will have a Oolong tea which is picked by monkeys – which will be sold as Oolong on long. They will be purveyors of Pu’erh, 50 year old decomposed tea that’s worth its weight in gold and hand seLotuswn Lotus balls which unfold themselves when steep in water.


He enthusiastically continues–“ It is a lot easier than starting a brewery which you need a license for and can take months or years to obtain – You don’t need a license to turn on a kettle”.

The Tea House will be serving High Teas, with and assortment of dainty cakes, scones and cucumber sandwiches.  There will be Tea O’ Clock Tasting trays so you can sample the large inclusive variety.

Tonight is Beerhouse’s last hurrah – so come have a pint of the amber nectar before it gets replaced with the Tea House Cuppa. Jorberg is not closing the door on the Beerhouse completely and harbours  ambition to re-open it once the storms have passed. Until then!! Stay Thirsty / Stay Curious

One Comment On “Beerhouse to rebrand as TEAHOUSE”

  1. Carl Totman | On April 1, 2014

    Could you elaborate on this thing you call ‘HIGH’ Tea, what particular ‘blend’ would you be using, Perhaps you could hold off the launch until 20/4

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